You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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