i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
