alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize