so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
