Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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