well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize