I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
