He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
