after a month anything with tits is on the radar
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
