Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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