My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
