Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
