So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
