We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
