Non-Jews are for practice
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
