Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
