we have pet lesbian snakes
Just fell off a train. Bad.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
