if i can run in heels then i can drive
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
