Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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