So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
wow bdsm is so cute
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
