You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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