No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
