Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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