I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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