OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize