if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if i died would you start the facebook group?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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