and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
