I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
