I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
