Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
