This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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