so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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