U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
