2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
