I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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