I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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