I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sober January is a disaster.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i drank out of a bidet.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
its liver damage thursday
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