Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
