I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
