I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
