U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
