I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
In America we eat man semen.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
