so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
