i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
