Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize