$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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