how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
