the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
