It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
