Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
