Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize