She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
