Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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