Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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