i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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