He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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