my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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