Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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