Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
