Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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