JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize