Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
