Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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