i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize