I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
